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johnvir
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Name: johnvir
Birthday: 5/14/1977
Gender: Male
Interests: Melody, life, people, Rock climbing, poker, observation of world varieties(staring), lunches and dinners w/ people, knowing my maker, making people laugh(comedian), travelling, getting lost and finding my way back, I'm tempted to write other interests I think I'd be interested in but I have'nt done them yet so I don't really know...
Expertise: I'm a licensed cosmetologist? uhmm...I can't toot my own horn...
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/28/2005
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| Well like I said above, someone has got me to write again on this thing. Funny how I keep coming back in 6 or so months then feeling all dumb that I haven't followed thru. Well Im no longer surpirsed as I have momentarily accepted that I have not the motivations at the moment to exert energy to keep something like this consistant. Even that word cosistant is completely opposite of who I am. I mean my inconsistencies are consistent but I don't do maintenace well. For the moment thought, in the area of consitency, this blog is not the priority. But, I am following orders from someone I am following on the web who I look up to from a distance. So far his theories are intriguing and I use some of his tools for my own personal development. I don't know him personaly but he seems genuine. He didn't ask to be plugged but if your intrigued his name is Mark joyner. Look him up on google if you feel like digging. I am also hopefull when it comes to winning something especially if its business coaching!
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| I said I would and I intend to win at least one battle this year of things I say I will do...ha ha! After at least three years of attempted blogging, I have come to the realization that I am definitely not a natural blogger and at this point in time It hasn't quite moved up on my list of priorities with all the new things going on. Why am i saying all this, you might wonder, I'm just exposing my personal shame towards something I have not done well thats all, don't feel sorry for me though its not that kind of party, I just like to mention it to you guys as my personal blog bouncing board. One really good thing about this blog I might say is that I finally know who my audience are! All two of you...for awhile I always had a tough time writing anything because of my concern for those reading and how I was going to communicate towards this " large audience". It's kinda silly really, I had this imaginary idea of all these people reading my blogs ha ha! But now I know who you are and surprisingly it has really healed me a bit about this whole blogging thing...and may I say I'm glad its you =)
Moving on...the theme for this update of my journey I would say is simplicity...these past years there has been alot of changes in my life and they are quite big ones, more than the average American would go through in a year I would say. You know some of them I'm sure, just to recap I lived in a different country for ten months, moved back to California had baby Max, moved again to a different country four months later without jobs and without full support. Now Mel and I are living complete opposite roles, she works while I stay home and watch baby max along with that the domestic work that comes along. Cooking is fun and cleaning the house and being helpful is rewarding in its own right but when you start feeling like that is 90% of what you do I start asking myself why I here on the planet if you know what I mean...whooo breath. I Don't think I've fully realized the responsibility of raising a baby but I get big doses of it everyday, if this is scaring you single folks, don't worry this is what God has intended if you choose to take this route. Besides all the necesary busy-ness of surviving, I've grown to appreciate that God will give us more when we take care of his things not less and I am loving that in the midst of all life can suck out of me. The reason I named this simplicity is that now I have been forced to not waste time on many dreams but focus my attention on the Big ones for me. Big ONes doesn't nessecarily even mean save the world or anything like, it just means I've realized what is most important to me Like Poker for instance, and focus my extra time on these things. I won't go into any spiritual jargin on this but I'd like you to assume that I look for God in all I do even for myself and the things I do involve people in which I view them as commonly created and chased by God and find their best and true selves when they live in relationship to him. I had to put that disclaimer in cuz I hate having to speak in two voices so just insert that value in what I say from now on but feel free to check my motives anytime thanks =).
So I've made a list of these things and they seem really random but I've found clear direction that breathes and lives out of my personal values. Man there is nothing more liberating than to live your life out of who you are in its potential fullness! I will share this list later and talk more about it too, but this is the main thing for the next few years for me...
Well, right now in general I've been trying to be chaos literate and see the signs and patterns in our life so that we could be better managers of our relationships with others and eachother, but so far its been mostly trying to just keep this boat from flooding and sinking, I'm ok with that actually but every now and then it is pretty stressfull. But when everything seems so overwhelming I just look at my list and see if Im still heading in the same direction and if all points in the right general destination I feel much better and relieved. Actually the stress part isn't even the big deal since we don't really live without it but its the not living towards a purpose that is frustrating for me. So I guess what I'm saying is I don't like being lost, it really frustrates me and stresses me out, same goes for those around me, it really weighs on me when others are speaking out of lostness, I can't stand it...simplicity is basically knowing if, at the least, my toes are pointing in the right direction and I can mean that pretty literally.
Things I'm excited about in the near future are the growing roles I have in the little communities here and even being able to cut hair again legitimatly. I'm trying to see if going the self employed route would work best since I am trying to partner with Serve the City and even play a bigger role with some of the projects. I'm also enjoying alot of the new relationships we are building both at church and the neighborhood we live in. OH did I mention I had my first poker game two weeks ago and I'm having another one this week! Last but not least it is a new Laker season, the past has been forgotten and we are looking toward the future. mY only problem is most games are at two in the morning here and I have no where to watch it but I still enjoy know whether they won or not. Well, that'll be all for now I'm also cutting hair at a refuge center this saturday so pray for that to go well and for relationships to blossom, peace out homies! | | |
| testing this out
I'm evaluating a multi-media course on blogging from the folks at Simpleology. For a while, they're letting you snag it for free if you post about it on your blog. It covers: - The best blogging techniques.
- How to get traffic to your blog.
- How to turn your blog into money.
I'll let you know what I think once I've had a chance to check it out. Meanwhile, go grab yours while it's still free. cheers
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| Birth
This is a long overdue answer to questions most asked since
I became a new Dad.
Most common is how was it seeing birth?
Well the most common answer from new Dads typically is ‘awe
it was amazing, unexplainable! A miracle! The best experience…not to say that
that wasn’t the case for me too, I think in general that is just the truth of the
experience whether you emotionally feel it or not. I would like to add an extra
observation thought, actually from my point of view it looked like an accepted
form of torture, the nurse, my wife and
I myself were all in on it despite the expression of pain and discomfort that
comes from each contraction. It was like an invitation to a pain party and I
was holding one leg. Yup, and afterwards we brought home a beautiful stranger
that has come from both Mel and me but whom I do not know yet, wow! | | |
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The other night on my way home from a friends flat as I was
walking down Byres rd., I noticed a homeless man sitting underneath the closed
blue entrance of a blockbusters video store. As I continued to walk and about
passed him he looked up and our eyes made contact. I felt that familiar but
uncomfortable feeling that jerks my head back to look straight ahead and
pretend that I wasn’t really looking but lately I have been telling myself not
to ignore the homeless I encounter so I managed to keep my eyes fixed on to
his. He also continues to look at me so I say ‘what’s up, how are you?’ at the
same moment he smiles big and says “how eere eeou? It then snaps to me that I
had met him before, Rico right? I say to him. Yea, yea, and we start to chat
then shortly I realize that our conversation is not going to be short so I sit
right in with him and watch him roll up a fag. I observe him as I listen to him
talk about the last time I saw him and just the general news of the week for
him. I notice that he looks young, like in his twenties, he has a Caesar style
haircut and although he is unshaven he looks relatively clean. Probably because
it doesn’t look like he can grow a full mustache and beard. He is pale in color
but he looks healthy and he is missing teeth from the whole upper right side of
his mouth. It also looks like he is wearing what I saw him in last dark navy
pull over and wool slacks, pretty clean as well. It is about 1 am when we start
talking and he starts telling me his story. He ran away at 15 and came to Glasgow from a town just
outside of here and got mixed up in the wrong crowd, started using heroin and
had used for 7 years, at one point he was dealing it so he could keep his habit,
he said he had a flat, big screen TV and a beautiful girlfriend. But it didn’t
make him happy, he’s been homeless for majority of his life since he left home
and now that he has been clean for a little over a year he’s never been more
happy, although he had used once within that year, he wanted to be honest to
himself, he said it was due to his grandmothers death and how broken and sad he
was over it. He even considered not going to the funeral due in part to shaming
his family for the way he looked missing teeth and all. I noticed a glow about
him as he talk about recovery and his realistic but positive out look on life,
he shared with me about how he is starting to build a relationship with God and
how he used to look down on those people, but he realized how he needed to own
the choices he has made and experienced the power of knowing that God had
forgiven him, He told me his dream was to be a sports writer, particularly for
the MMA (mixed martial arts community) and he is getting a flat from the
council and he is starting a creative writing course at the University. We talked
a bit more about what God is like and I just affirmed the things he already
knew but I felt it was encouraging, I shared with him that God is always
present so that he could talk to Him and that even if he continues to make
mistakes God has forgiven all that he has done, that God is just waiting for
him to forgive himself. And with that we exchanged hopeful words of seeing each
other again. There were many other things he shared that encouraged me of his
progress and I know God knows this young man, I was so glad that I gave him the
opportunity to be listened to. I believe that God has been with him all his
life and that this moment in our time together was an experience of God valuing
all people, even Rico who as we chatted was passed by 30 plus people mostly
drunk pub hopping. Ironic as we talked about heroin as another means to relieve
the pain of and hide behind against the reality of the need to numb in the
mundane life.
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